Harry Potter and The Attack of the Sues
by ShayminxForeverx
Summary: 6 months later from Voldemort's defeat you would think The Golden Trio would finally be at peace. Well a shock they get when the Head Mistress appears in the hall during dinner of an other magic school. But not any school, a Mary Sue school. Rated T to be safe. Warning contains Sues and out of character characters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! I wished I did but I don't!

Chapter 1

It had been 6 months since Voldemort's fall and the golden trio had been released into the arms of more fame than any of them could of imagined.

All of them could of finished school and not come back to do their NEWTS and finish school properly but this place was the safest place from The Daily Prophet.

It was no surprise Hermione was back but instead of returning as the bushy haired book worm we all knew and loved; she returned as super sexy Hermione. No one knew how because it was defiantly not anything to do about puberty. They all know she experienced it ages ago. There was no explanation at all.

Of course she got the place of Head Girl with Draco Malfoy being Head Boy. Very predictable...

No one knew how he got the role but who cares this fanfiction doesn't have many reasons at all for all the hallabaloos just to warn you. [WARNING the story probably will stray from canon]

There was also Ron Weasley who came back dumber than ever but more sane than his two best friends. Ron was telling everyone he was dating Hermione...typical. In fact they were for a bit until Ron got mixed up with Twilight and The Hunger Games. This earned him a whack on the head with all the Twilight saga and Hunger Games books all at once and a tearful break up from the hormonal Hermione. Who knew Hermione was THAT protective of books? Well anyways him and Hermione didn't last long. He now spends his time eating, eating...more eating, eating and playing the red haired side kick of Harry Potter.

Harry Potter was even more famous than before. Over the summer he had become a god!? He had his own little fan club and had a shrine dedicated to him in the Great Hall. Harry was having an on and off relationship with Ginny Weasley. Ginny kept being a weasel and whenever anyone wasn't paying attention to her she'd weaslel of to Harry so she could feature in a few magazines. Then after a week or so she'd break it off saying he kept asking her for sex but really it was the other way round.

Well basically the trio were more like gurus now and had really and I mean really changed.

At the moment it was dinner in the Great Hall and everyone sat at their respective tables. People were giving mean looks to the Slytherins and kept sticking middle fingers up at them.

"What's your problem!? We're not evil, well most of us aren't!" Good point random slytherin, good point.

You see since the war; the slytherins are getting more and more slack from the other houses. Seriously I don't even know who's the "mean" house now.

"Because your death eaters!" Harry Potty...oops Potter yelled.

Harry was very out of character. Plus probably less than half of them were death eaters.

Before the Slytherin could throw her food at him and start a food war which was way to dramatic and very tv like; there was a white glow and a scream.

All of a sudden a woman appeared from nowhere weakly onto the floor.

Ron spat out his food and mumbled. "Pretttttyyyy!" (AN: the loads of ts and ys are meant to be there)

All the boys eyes and even some girls stared at her. She was an angel.

She had golden hair which looked like it was very unrealistically long. Her face was spotless and so pale it put the snow falling down to shame. She wore a white dress that showed a bit to much shoulder and boobs and was spread all around her. Her eyes were indigo? Technically she was a perfect angel and that most of the girls were jealous and all the boys instantly fell in love with her.

"Who are you, you, you slut who fell down from the sky!" Professor McGonagall very unlike her self yelled. (AN: a lot of the characters will not act like themselves for the humour of this story)

"I am Tiara Bella Maria Angelway.," she whispered her voice more beautiful than an angel. "Head mistress of St Mary Sues Academy of witchcraft and wizardry. Queen of Mary Sues and Gary Stues. Dumbledore's great great great great great great great granddaughter."

The room gasped. What the hell has happened?

Author Note: Hope this was ok! Sorry this was so short; it's kinda there so you know and get warned about the sudden change in character! This is my first fanfic so I would really like some tips but please don't flame!

I was thinking of maybe making this a Submit your own Sue (SYOS) kinda story. Not even sure if that exists! I might not be able to add in all sues but I really would appreciate some help! My brain would melt if I had to make up so much suenees *rubs head*

So what do u think of the idea? Yes or no? Don't submit yet! If the idea if well accepted in the next chapters or two I'll put a demonstration in the author notes and post the template in my biography\profile! Review or PM me about your thoughts on the story and the idea of a SYOS! Before then bye


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to the lovely JK Rowling not me :(

Chapter 2

McGonagall paced her office angrily. Tiara Bella Maria Angelway was sat on the sofa sipping tea and weeping.

"You see McGonagall; my school was destroyed and I had to use ALL of my powers to protect my students," she hiccuped.

"And what did destroy your school um Tiara Maria Angelway Bella?" McGonagall spat.

"It's Tiara Bella Maria Angelway!" Tiara yelled throwing her hands into the air. "I don't know what attacked us some weird woman who wants my amazing beauty probably," she tossed her hair.

"And how the hell did you defeat this evil thing," Flitwick who had entered the room with some tea and biscuits.

"Um...I used the power of my true heart," she touched her heart. "And sacrificed my life for my own school. I then came back to life again because I'm to pure and beautiful to die. You see..."

"And where is this school?"

"Um I dunno," she shrugged. "When I came to school I never learned Geography or maths or anything really useful."

"What school did you go to?"

"Beauty summer school for beautiful witches; I was home schooled," she looked at her nails. "But even though I have luxurious blond hair, a slim body and curves in the right places alongside beautiful indigo eyes and to die for ivory skin. I'm still ugly and plain and boring."

McGonagall rolled her eyes at the Mary Sue. "So what is the name of this school again?"

"St Mary Sues Academy," she then sobbed. "I miss my school so much."

McGonagall groaned. "Where is your um...students?"

"I don't know," Tiara sobbed heavily. "All I know they'll eventually be attending here because of my connection with Dumbledore!"

Flitwick spat out his drink and McGonagall stared.

"Excuse me? Connection with Dumbledore?" McGonagall asked still confused.

"Oh you didn't hear me? Oh yeah you were blinded by my amazing boring to die for beauty," she flipped her hair. "I am Dumbledore's a lot of greats granddaughter."

"How does that work?" Flitwick asked wiping up himself.

"Uh he had a son called Dumblewhore who then had another son and he had another son and he also got another son who fathers another son..."

"I mean who is Dumbledore's spouse!?"

"Grindelwald!" Tiara said quickly. "Star crossed lovers doomed," she sighed dreamily.

"How does that work?" Flitwick asked. He was right how does that work?

"Duh anything is possible if your a Mary Sue!" Tiara laughed. "That's what we teach at my magic school."

"About them going to Hogwarts. When are they coming -?" McGonagall got interrupted by Tiara Bella Maria Angelway.

"Uh not sure?" Tiara said.

"You must know?" Flitwick did not like the sound of it.

"Haha, you make me laugh Flitty. They are trained Mary Sues. We appear at inappropriate or obvious times. Lesson 2 of our school."

McGonagall laughed uneasily. "How much is there?"

"Ummm not much I imagine. They'll mostly be older ones. Most of them died," Tiara then began to sob.

Flitwick felt sorry for her. "Its ok you look beautiful when you cry." Um oops Flitwick.

Tiara stopped. "Oh thank you Flittywicckkky my love."

McGonagall angrily pulled them a part. "Is this a trick?"

"No!" Tiara cried. "How could you say that to poor young innocent me!"

"Get out of this school Tiara blah blah I don't care a shit about your name. Just leave now!" McGonagall yelled pointing to the door.

Tiara sobbed and shook her head. All of a sudden the door burst open and a badass girl was holding a chainsaw.

"Knife Shadow Depression is here; top of my badass evil class," Tiara stopped sobbing.

"Let go of Professor Angelway or all of you die!" She yelled.

Knife Shadow Depression held out her wand which somehow turned into a knife. Armed with her chainsaw too; nothing was more scary. She even put Voldemort to shame.

Flitwick gulped and hid behind Tiara who was smiling like crazy.

"Knife has beautiful evil red eyes that turn yellow when a gremlin is near. Black pixie cut hair with purple streaks that turn red in the winter. She always wears leather and is currently wearing a black cat suit that shows of her juicy peaches. She wears 9 inch heels and can still do gymnastics and kill people. She is super hot and makes all the boys hot and bothered. She is also mega evil and is half vampire and quarter werewolf," Tiara commented reading it out of her huge book that appeared in her lap. "She is the most evilist witch there is even more evil than Bellatrix LeStrange..."

"SHUT UP!" McGonagall yelled. "I don't care about all of that..."

"Still she isn't as beautiful as me," Tiara closed the book.

McGonagall groaned and fell back into her seat.

Harry then came running in panting. "McGonagall why is there three strangers in the corridor!?"

"Oh that must be some of the others," Tiara squealed.

McGonagall groaned.

Authors Notes: So what do u think? And don't forget about my SYOS idea. Let me know if your interested!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but I do own my OCs

Chapter 3

Out in the corridor three girls stood in a huddle.

One of them had black hair and green eyes (you probably have guessed already who she is) with a pair of round glasses. On her arm there was a love heart scar or birth mark no one knew what it was.

Beside her was a girl that has wavy blond hair and sea green eyes. Her skin was golden and perfect. Not a spot, any acne, dry skin it was perfect.

The other was small and nothing really special and was basically normal. But for some reason all the boys were drooling about her. What?

Tiara blah blah squealed and ran out; wrapping her arms around the girls and tightly squeezing them. Knife came out after her. The chainsaw was gone but her knife wand was still out.

Harry came out beside McGonagall who didn't look that impressed.

"Can they do magic?" McGonagall asked.

"Yes I can and don't say I can't or you WILL die," Knife yelled pointing her wand at her.

"A little bit," Tiara spoke. "But at our school we learn to be Sues not to do silly magic tricks."

McGonagall hit her head. "How am I going to manage?"

"I can do a bit," they all turned around to the black haired girl. "I learnt it illegally."

Instead of getting punished or what not, Tiara smiled and spoke. "That's my girl."

"Yeah we made an army called Angelway's army," the blond haired girl yelled. "Just like you guys did Dumbledore's army."

How the heck does she know about Dumbledore's army?

"Cliché, cliché," McGonagall muttered. She hated these Sues already.

"We can learn Professor," the small girl says quietly. "As long as my father is Severus Snape we can do anything."

"What!?" McGonagall looked surprised "But how is he your father?"

"Well you see a man puts his thingy into a girls and they do you know what," Tiara flipped her hair.

"Not that you bluthering fool of a witch!" McGonagall threw her hands into the air.

"My mum is a veela and they were in love so they had me but my mum had to marry some one else and dad didn't want me so she took me. I was raised in France and attended Beauxbatons for a couple of years. I thought the man mum was married to was my dad and when he found out I wasn't he abused my mum," tears started to form in her eyes.

"Luckily I came along and whisked her away and she started to attend my school," Tiara finished for her; patting her shoulders. "I told her of her heritage and told her she was half veela not full. Now that was a shock."

My question is how is she half veela or even got brown hair? Snape had black greasy hair and if her mum was a veela so she was presumably blonde. So what the fuck.

"Now can I see my father," the brown haired girl tried to run into the office but McGonagall stopped her.

"You see your father is dead," tears started to swell in the young girls eyes. "He is gone..."

That was too much, all of a sudden she started to bawl and make the most unattractive sound ever. "I was hoping we could be family. Me, him and mum they loved each other so much!"

If she was really a witch she would of known he died right?

The two other girls hugged her and Knife stood awkwardly. Tiara started to sob too. Everyone was sobbing. Except Harry.

"But he was in love with MY mum not yours," Harry yelled. "Severus didn't want you." This is all true.

"He only gave me away to protect me," she sobbed.

"No he didn't whatever your name is!"

"Lily..."

"See! See! Named after MY mum not yours! Ha," Harry laughed. "It was only an affair."

Lily broke into more tears as she realised the truth.

"Harry Pottypoo that's not nice. They loved each other so much Lily. Harry is just jealous." Tiara hugged the young girl.

"What?!"

Lily smiled believing the garbage Tiara told her. "Your right. Potter this is war."

"Yes," he stood up. "Insert your last name."

"Its Papillon or better Snape."

"Yes Papillon or better Snape," they shook hands.

McGonagall watched. "Maybe you guys do belong here. You'll be sorted at the Feast."

"Wahoo!" Knife held up the chainsaw that magically appeared.

"We do have Snape's daughter here..."

"When is the feast?" Flitwick asked.

"In three minutes!" McGonagall yelled.

"But I thought right now it's morning?"

"Uh who cares!" Tiara yelled. "This story is going to be full of plot holes and blah blah blah shit so get used to it!"

Everyone cheered even Harry and they started to do the conga to the hall.

Authors Note: Thank you to Guest for reviewing! Yep I'm making up a SYOS form thing so I'll post it probably in the next chapter so here's a few questions.

1) How do you like the Sues?

2) Am I the only one who's getting a headache just reading Tiara?

3) What house\s do you think they're going to be in?

4) Do you love or hate Lily? I know we haven't properly met her but I uh hate her. There will be more of her soon.

5) Will there be anyone interested in the SYOS? I have decided when the form goes up you can review on the story your sue or PM me so people who don't have accounts or what not can take part too!

That's all so I wish you all good day and please review!


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